There’s a lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold, and she’s buying an escalator to heaven
Ok…so, I’ve determined that I live in an urban area full of people who were either dropped on their heads at birth, or ate too much lead paint chips, or something. This morning, while trying to get on the train, I experienced yet another candidate for electro-shock therapy.
There is an escalator in the train station that is a “down” escalator, but in the mornings they turn it off, because more people need to go “up” and for some reason this escalator doesn’t go both ways. So, anyway, the escalator is OFF and we’re all getting on it and walking — ever notice that escalator steps are taller than normal steps. Well, there’s this guy in front of me, and he gets on and stands there!!! Like, this is some special escalator that doesn’t move for the other 100 people on it, but will when he gets on! I understand force of habit — you get on the escalator, which you understand to be the moving staircase, and it takes a nano-second to realize that it’s not doing what it should, and you adjust and move on. It’s like when you order a diet pepsi but they give you a ginger ale, and for that first sip you think it’s diet pepsi. It was like that, but the guy stood there for like five seconds!!!!!
But wait…there’s more…
The freakiest thing happened to me when I got off the train. I went to get on the escalator — an “up” escalator, that is almost always on — and I stepped on and it stopped! Dead.
Some weird escalator karma, or something…I don’t know. I’m walking the real steps from now on.