minorthird

so…yesterday reaffirmed for me that I really don’t like people (like that really needed to be reconfirmed, but I have been pretty isolated the last month or so). Maybe it’s not a dislike of all people — I’m hoping that as a soon-to-be parent (holy shit!), I can instill some values other that “people are retarded” — but definately a dislike of all people in the mall.

People still give and receive hickeys, on their necks, and go out in public?! I saw this guy that looked like he just moved here from Long Island, NY (or maybe the south shore), and his neck looked like a PSA for domestic abuse. I thought maybe he’s just a rebel and an individual, but nope, the three other punk-ass bitches with him were equally bruised. In some perverse way, it really was a work of art! We’re talking geologic layers of drunken love — hickeys of every age, size, shape and color, like a big white trash rainbow!

Now, I’ve put on a few (ok, 25) pounds of sympathy weight, but that is only one of the many reasons why I get to complain about people who are oblivious to hot(t), pregnant woman. Seriously! How are these people being brought up?! I know that there is the whole taboo/joke about offering special treatment to a “pregnant” woman only to find out that she’s not pregnat at all, but really, Erika is 2 days (holy shit!) from her due date! It was like her belly was a beacon that just caused people to walk a bit closer when they were passing — when did bumping shoulders become a normal walking style in an empty hallway? And then there was the family of four fat-asses in Smokey Bones that just sat and stared at Erika from their couch while we waited for a seat. No, don’t get up. Don’t teach your kids manners. And the unfortunate thing about it is that as much as I wanted to say something, I held my tongue, only because I wasn’t sure that I would have been able to give an appropriate respone and not end up hitting someone. And, you know, if I ended up in jail, Samson would show up before I could make bail.

All of this really started once we got into the mall and made the mistake of going to Baby Style. Now, if you like Baby Style that’s fine, as long as you recognize that it’s rediculously overpriced and that there are other options out there. I mean all things baby and pregnacy are overpriced, but this place always makes me feel like I was transported to Rodeo Drive. They were having a winter 50% sale, so we decided to pick up a “Skateboarder, someday” t-shirt and a stuffed monkey. I waited in line for 25 minutes to checkout because part of their customer service is to talk at length about the most inane shit with the customers. “Oh, you vacation in St. Kitts each year? We do too!” “You know that they have have a shopping service, and they’ll deliver your food right to the suite!” Listen, get up off your lazy, privileged ass and go to the damn store yourself! I know what you’re saying, and maybe I am feeling a little inferior, but I always felt that we were doing pretty well for ourselves, but the fact that I was waiting on line for 50% off of a $25 bill and the three ladies ahead of me each had a bill in the $600-800 range, maybe I was feeling a bit out of place. Well, the long and the short of it is that the monkey wasn’t on sale. It was “misplaced” in the pile of 50% off toys. The manager said, “oh, a kid must have put it there.” There were 4 or 5 in the pile! She apologized and I told her to void the transaction. I waited for 25 minutes to find out that their mistake was my problem, and honestly, they didn’t care about my little $15.

There is a reason why we buy most things online.

This entry was posted on Monday, February 20th, 2006 at 9:17 am and is filed under people are retarded, parental paradox. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.