minorthird

so…I’ve been thrown up on more times in the past 11 years than I’ve thrown up in the past 11 years. Hell, probably more than the last 22 years…if you pardon a 6-month stretch in 1994, and maybe again in 1997 — just kidding, Mom.
*trying to do the whole Eddie Izzard-head-shaking-head-nodding-no-yes thing over the internet kinda loses something*

Sammy decided to projectile vomit his bedtime bottle and a quarter of an avacado all over me as I was sitting with him just before bed last night. He was almost out, and gave me a little burp…a burp that acted as the Lewis and Clark of the upper digestive tract, blazing a trail for the “western” expansion. (I know, Lewis and his hetero-life partner Clark were not responsible for the move out west, but work with me…it’s 5:45 am, let’s see you bust out some early American history at this time of day).

The nice thing, if there can be a nice thing about a child throwing up, is that he immediately took another bottle and kept it down, and he was so exhausted that he slept through the night — with the exception of a little fussiness at 10pm, but, shit, I’m 30 and I wake up more than that during the night.

Oh, and another thing I found out last night: my new L.L. Bean Wicked Good slippers are virtually puke-proof. I wouldn’t expect that from suede, and even though there might be a little staining, they don’t look like Jerry Seinfeld’s jacket after he work it out in the snow.

Oh, and for you parents and soon-to-be parents: Dr. Bonner’s castile soap, in just about any flavor, but namely Almond, really cuts through the fresh vomit smell. I thing that might be the worst smell to get stuck in your nose. The soap costs a bit more but can you really put a price on an all-natural product, made by a religious-whackadoo, that has the power to move you cut through the baby equvalent of skunk spray?

********

The transition from Richard Shindell into The Notorious B.I.G is just a little bit jarring at 6:00 am. So is Nine Inch Nails into Robert Johnson.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007 at 6:05 am and is filed under parental paradox. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.